So What Did I Learn in 2005?

I guess this is the classic question bloggers all over the world is asking themselve, eh?

Do I have a satisfying answer? Hmm....

2005 has been billed by many as the year of, well, many bad things to be remembered. I quite agreed. In fact, I wrote in before the journalists put it in their year-end review even! It was in the first chapter of my thesis. I borrowed Queen Elizabeth II's term when she called 1992 as her Annus Horribilus year.

Hurricanes, earthquakes, war, terrrorism, etc. The world has been an unhappy place indeed in 2005.

I did grow up quite a bit, I think. Figuratively. From all the things I did. I think I worked quite hard this year: teaching at Chula, volunteering in Chiangmai, writing for Bangkok Post, studying & taking Japanese exam, studying & taking Buddhist Studies exam and translating a book. This has left me very little time to make more progress on my thesis as it should have been.

Nevertheless, I think I made up for it in December when I think I started to speed up on my thesis and sort of start to put things in perspective and attack the books again with more gusto, planning it again in more details, entering the football field with more game plan, so to speak. I feel pretty good about it, actually.

Not that I can see that the end is near in sight. In fact, I think it's still very far from the end. But at least it's moving. Everyday. And that alone means so much to me already. Because the fact that it didn't go anywhere all year made me so stressed.

Another really good news to cap off the end of the year is that I got a research grant from the Japan Society for the Promotion of Science to do research at Waseda University next year for several months! Cool! Ooh, I can't wait! I love Japan. And I really want to make the best out of my trip there.

Well, what did I learn, in light of Buddhism? I learn that there is suffering everywhere in every stage of life of human being. Even in the middle of happiness, there is suffering. I also learn that I should try harder on my mindfulness practice. And I found that I could push myself to give food to the monk every morning if I really want to. And that makes me feel great.

I also learn to let go of many things, one being books. Normally I love books and I hold on to all my books as if it's my dear life. But this year I donated my books to my university library twice already and I felt good about it.

I also learn to let go about my feelings. I learn to let go of the fact that I should not expect too much from people. Many people would simple not be ready to go to meditation. I promoted the course in Chiangmai much less this year. I didn't know whether it was out of my laziness or whether it was because i knew better about people. Well, I hope it's the latter!

Hmm...what else? Let's leave it as this for now. If I could think of anything else, I would add again. For now, happy new year to anyone who comes across this blog. May you be happy, healthy, and free from suffering. And may 2006 be the year that you live and learn to your fullest capacity! :)